Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s eating habits, but mistakes can happen. It is a common misconception that parents can make their children eat what they don’t want, but recent studies show that it has a lot to do with how we handle our children’s eating habits and approach our own eating habits. Here are the 12 most common mealtime mistakes that parents make and how to avoid them.
1. Setting a Poor Example
The first thing parents should do to help their children eat healthily is to set a good example by eating a variety of nutritious foods in a happy setting. Adults who constantly diet, overeat, refuse vegetables, or eat alone are more likely to have children with unhealthy attitudes towards food. Therefore, parents need to be mindful of the nutritional message they are sending their children and, if necessary, make some changes.
2. Applying Too Much Pressure
Experts object to any form of coercion when it comes to feeding children. Forcing children to eat food they don’t like will only make them more resistant to trying new things. Instead, parents can offer a variety of foods and allow their children to decide how much and whether they want to eat. Babies, for example, may need some time to adjust to new textures, so parents should be patient and allow their children to explore different foods.
3. Using Bribes
Offering dessert as a reward for eating vegetables is another form of pressure that can backfire. Children may start to associate sweets with good behavior and consider healthy foods as a chore. Parents can avoid this by offering fruit instead of sweets or making dessert a judgment call based on how much effort the child put into eating healthy food.
4. Giving Up on New Foods Too Soon
Parents should avoid sticking to the same foods that their children are comfortable eating. It takes time and effort for children to accept new foods, and parents should persevere by offering new foods 10 to 15 times before giving up. Parents should watch for signs that their children are starting to warm up to new foods and not get frustrated if their children don’t eat them right away.
5. Short-Order Cooking
Preparing different meals for each family member is not only time-consuming, but it also doesn’t help children develop healthy eating habits. Instead, parents can offer limited choices related to what the rest of the family is eating. Children can choose between two or three options, and if they choose not to eat anything, it is okay.
6. Serving Oversized Portions
Parents often make the mistake of serving oversized portions to their children, which can lead to overeating and unhealthy weight gain. Instead, parents should serve age-appropriate portion sizes and allow their children to ask for more if they are still hungry.
7. Allowing Too Many Snacks
Snacking can be a healthy habit, but parents should be mindful of the frequency and type of snacks they offer their children. Too many snacks can spoil their appetite for meals and lead to weight gain. Parents should offer snacks that are healthy and low in sugar, such as fruits, vegetables, or whole-grain crackers.
8. Serving Unhealthy Meals
It may seem like an easy way out to grab fast food or serve packaged meals, but it’s a mistake to rely on them too often. “Processed foods are generally calorie-dense, nutrient-poor, and very easy to overeat,” says Dr. Birch. Plus, meals out or in front of the TV don’t give parents a chance to model good habits. “Kids don’t learn about portion size or what goes into a balanced meal,” says Dr. Kauer. She advises getting kids involved in food preparation, starting when they’re toddlers, so they can learn about healthy eating and take pride in what they’ve helped create. When time is short, says Dr. Kauer, serve ready-to-eat foods that are healthy, such as cut-up veggies and fruit or low-fat yogurt.
9. Not Timing Meals Right
Young children do better with three meals and three snacks a day on a set schedule. “They shouldn’t go more than three or four hours without eating,” says Satter. “A hungry child is often irritable, distracted, and whiny — not a happy family member.” Don’t assume your child isn’t hungry because she didn’t eat much at the last meal. “She might not have been in the mood for the food or might have been snacking,” says Satter. And don’t expect her to eat everything you serve. “It’s normal for a child’s appetite to vary from day to day,” says Dr. Birch. “Sometimes they don’t eat as much, and other times they eat more than you do.”
10. Allowing Unlimited Juice or Milk
Milk and juice are good for kids, but there should be limits. Too much milk (more than three 8-ounce cups a day) can fill kids up and leave little room for other foods. Too much juice (more than 4 to 6 ounces a day) can cause diarrhea or fill kids up with empty calories, says Dr. Birch. Water should be available and offered frequently. To encourage milk drinking, serve it at meals and as snacks, and let kids choose chocolate milk or other flavors once in a while. “It’s the total diet that counts,” says Dr. Birch, “not just one or two things.”
11. Not Enforcing Mealtime Rules
It’s up to parents to set limits on when, where, and what kids eat. This means establishing regular meal and snack times, keeping an eye on portion sizes, and turning off the TV during meals. “When kids watch TV, they eat more and pay less attention to how much they’ve eaten,” says Dr. Birch. “Plus, it takes away from conversation and family time.” Even little rules can help. For example, use a cup instead of a bottle for milk by the first birthday to promote the transition to a cup. Don’t allow kids to graze all day or carry food around. And don’t use food as a reward or punishment.
12. Giving In to Whining
It’s not easy to withstand a toddler’s cries for dessert or a grade-schooler’s whines about eating something yucky. But giving in reinforces that behavior. “If kids learn that whining works, they’ll keep using it,” says Satter. Instead, offer choices (would you like broccoli or carrots tonight?) and acknowledge that not every meal will be a hit. “It’s okay for a child to say, ‘I don’t like this,’ ” says Satter. “But it’s not okay to say, ‘I don’t like this, so I’m not eating.’ ” Remember, says Dr. Carruth, “your job is to make the meals healthy and pleasant. The child’s job is to eat what’s there.”
