Welcoming a new baby to your family is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming, especially when you have a toddler. The arrival of a new baby can be a challenging transition for your older child, who may feel jealous or insecure about the changes happening in their life. Fortunately, there are ways to help your toddler adjust to the new addition to the family. Here are nine tips to help make the transition easier for everyone.
1. Keep the news of the new baby under wraps until the last minute
While it’s natural to want to share the news of a new baby as soon as possible, waiting until the last month can make the transition smoother for your toddler. This is because young children have a limited sense of time, and telling them about the new baby months before they arrive can create worry and anxiety.
2. Reassure your child that they are still your baby
It’s important to remind your older child that they will always be your baby, even with the arrival of a new sibling. Toddlers are still figuring out what being “me” means, and the idea of a new role can be confusing and overwhelming for them. They need to know that you will still be there for them, and they will always hold a special place in your heart.
3. Expect some regression
Toddlers often regress during times of change or stress, which can include the arrival of a new sibling. Regression can manifest as toileting setbacks, increased whining or tantrums, and sleep disruptions. Remember to be patient with your older child, offer extra hugs and cuddles, and avoid control battles as best you can. Bring them closer to you; they need your love and attention more than ever.
4. Make it all about your older child
During the initial weeks and months after the new baby arrives, it’s essential to make your older child feel special and included. Praise them for being a good big sibling, give them important tasks to do, and let them open any gifts that arrive for the baby. Encourage family and friends to also bring gifts for your older child, so they don’t feel left out.
5. Understand that jealousy is normal
Jealousy is a common emotion when a new sibling arrives, so it’s important to be aware of your older child’s feelings. Acknowledge and validate their emotions, and try to help them find ways to express themselves. For example, when your toddler expresses frustration about having to wait while you feed the baby, let them know that you understand how they feel.
6. Make your child your sidekick
Young children love to help, so give your older child simple tasks that make them feel important and involved. Let them bring you a diaper for the baby or hold the baby’s toy while you get them into the car seat. These moments can be empowering for your older child, and they will feel like they are helping you take care of the baby.
7. Find pockets of alone time
It can be challenging to juggle the needs of two children, but finding small pockets of time where you can spend one-on-one time with your older child can make a big difference. Set aside a few minutes each day to read a book or play a game together, and make it clear that this time is just for the two of you.
8. Ask for help
Accepting help from family and friends can be difficult for some parents, but it’s important to remember that it takes a village to raise a child. Don’t hesitate to ask for help with meals, childcare, or household tasks. You will be grateful for the support, and it will give you more time to focus on your children.
9. Let go of perfection
Mamas can be hard on themselves. I encourage you instead to go easy on yourself.
As you let go of perfection, you will relax more and find greater joy in being with your two bundles of joy. Dishes can remain dirty, bedtime may have to vary a bit. But at the end of the day, you are a mama of two and you are doing it!
